The question that is on everyone's mind with the long awaited release of Duke Nukem Forever is this: does age and time, like with a good wine, make a game better? In the case of Duke Nukem Forever, the answer is a resounding no. After over a decade of development, numerous restarts and developer changes, Duke Nukem Forever is not the Duke you remember. In fact, everything you loved about the original game will be ruined, your fond memories destroyed and your wallet a bit emptier, all for this unappealing and extremely unsatisfying game.

The original Duke was released way back in 1996 and was an entertaining shooter starring a main character with a bad attitude and some comical one liners. After its success, a sequel was announced and anticipation grew. As the years went by, the game kept getting pushed back and many wondered if this game would ever see the light of day. Unfortunately for us, Gearbox decided to save the game from the abyss of a blackhole and today we once again play as the crude and muscular Duke Nukem. Unfortunately for Duke and Gearbox, in the time it took to release this game, we have seen games with breathtakingly photorealistic graphics, engrossing storylines worthy of comparison to cinema, and characters we can empathize with. Duke Nukem Forever is none of these things, and does not even deserve comparison to current day B list shooters.

The plot of DNF is rather simple, if non-existent. The aliens Duke once saved Earth from are back, and this time they are out for revenge and our women. Duke takes it upon himself to save the world from these alien creatures. After some unmemorable dialogue you go against the president's wishes and take aim for these invaders. This essentially sums up the story in DNF; it is boring, it is weak and it does not compel you to care about the characters that populate this empty and bland world. The few characters you will meet blurt out their lines, often without even looking at you, and then just stand there motionlessly and aimlessly waiting for you to leave. The atmosphere and plot do nothing to draw you in and turns the game into being nothing more than a 'go from point a to point b' shooter, about as linear as you can get.

Overall, the game feels rushed and thrown together if you can believe it. The game will stutter without cause, damage models are essentially devoid of any type of realism, and online lag will make you yearn for a different multiplayer experience.

The gameplay, which in many cases can redeem a game from a poor story is as bad, if not worse. Gunplay is unfulfilling as enemies just throw their arms in the air and fall limp once you have killed them and damage models are nothing more that flying blood. You will be fighting the same three or four aliens over and over throughout the game, save for some boss characters. These boss fights are nothing more than bullet sponges that require you to take them down, execute a quicktime event, and if need be, rinse and repeat. There is no "wow" moment with any of these bosses, just more of the same generic gameplay. The guns are limited too, with the more unconventional weapons such as the freeze and shrink ray scarcely seen save for a small number of levels. The variety is also hindered by the fact you can only carry two weapons with you at any one time.

Like many shooters from the mid to late '90s, the level design makes it obvious you are simply moving from kill room to kill room. Typical levels consist of slamming open a door with your foot (why can't he just open it like a normal person?) with the doors closing behind you. What will occur next is repeated dozens of times throughout the game; enemies will pour in, you will kill them, and then you will move to the next kill room. There is little deviation to this formula, and even levels that occur outside are just as straightforward and unexciting as these indoor incursions. You move from one position to another, killing the same enemies over and over, spurting out the same unfunny lines. Frequent and long load times will have you groaning every time you die. Unfortunately this will happen often as the game can be rather cheap as it throws enemies at you without a chance of properly preparing yourself. If I were Duke and the world was this boring, I'd probably just let the aliens win.