August 20, 2007 - In my nearly twenty years as a gamer, I've learned some universal truths about the gaming world. What Ninja Gaiden taught me on the NES in 1989 was that, simply, ninjas must die. Ninjas are a constant threat in the world of gaming, and it is your duty as a player to take them out one by one. It is upon this fundamental truth that the template for many other ninja games have risen and evolved. However, in recent years, ninja games have declined in both quality and quantity. Team Ninja's outstanding remake(s) of Ninja Gaiden on Xbox and PS3 notwithstanding, there haven't been a ton of options for the average gamer to get his or her ninja fix on.

Enter Tenchu Z for the Xbox 360. For all of Ninja Gaiden's awesomeness, it doesn't really reflect the lifestyle of an actual ninja. While Ninja Gaiden's focus has always been on uber-difficult, balls-to-the-wall action, Tenchu has always aspired to be something more of an actual ninja simulator. The Tenchu games have usually demanded that you stalk your prey from the rooftops and shadows, striking when the moment is right. Unfortunately, while Ninja Gaiden has evolved to today's standards, Tenchu is stuck firmly in the PlayStation era.

You begin the game by creating your own ninja character using a player creator that features about as many customization options as the average sports title circa the late 1990s. You're also given a second ninja to customize, but they only periodically show up in cut-scenes here and there. What I found funny about the secondary character is that you will complete a mission, and then the cut-scene will show your secondary character slicing up the target. I'm used to over-zealous thirteen year olds with chatty headsets stealing my kills on Xbox live, but the last thing I ever expected was to have my kills stolen in a single player game.

One of the fundamental problems plaguing Tenchu Z is that the AI is simply broken. I don't think it's a stretch to suggest that Tenchu Z features some of the worst AI I've ever seen in a game. At the very least, the enemies are stupidest I've encountered on any new generation system. Enemies in this game will ignore you as you are disemboweling the person next to them. Even if you get caught in their line of sight, usually all that is necessary to escape detection is to climb the nearest rooftop or dart around the nearest corner. Once you do that, the enemies will wander around looking for you for about five seconds before going back to their pre-scripted patrol routines. They'll also ignore bodies covered in blood left in plain sight. The sheer stupidity of the AI is an insult to you as a gamer.

With that said, the stealth portion of Tenchu isn't that bad. Successfully sneaking up behind someone and liberating their insides onto the ground is quite exhilarating, and makes it impossible to completely hate on this game despite its myriad problems. There are a few neat little touches to the stealth engine that are supposed to add more depth. A meter in the bottom left corner of the screen lets you know how well lit you are, how much sound you're making, and how badly your character smells (Although the meter could just be describing the game itself). If you get covered in blood or fall into a cesspool for example, the smell will give you away. However, even these cool ideas are completely moot as there is a glitch in the game where performing a stealth kill resets your character's smell levels, rendering the whole "smell engine" useless.

The back of the game box boasts that there are fifty missions to complete in the game. This is a bit of a misnomer as while there are fifty actual missions, you'll notice by the tenth mission, that maps and layouts are already being recycled. The mission descriptors might as well be; "This guy moved into the house that your last target inhabited. Kill this new guy too." I'd hate to be the real estate agent for these locations. "Yeah, only the last four or five inhabitants were sliced up by ninjas, but check out this sweet garden!"

The missions are also obscenely short. Since the game doesn't technically punish you in any meaningful way for not being stealthy, the game becomes a total cakewalk. You can literally dash from the starting point to the last guy, with an army of guys behind you, and as long as you get to the mark and kill him, the mission is a success. All the enemies that were on your tail two seconds ago will then sheath their swords and leave you alone as you do your victory pose. As least these idiots are gracious losers. If you decide to play the game the way the designers actually intended, then there is a bit of challenge and fun to be had, but it's extremely difficult to resist the temptation to take advantage of the poor game design.